I'm not much on mommy bloggers. The earliest memory I have of not liking anything "mommy" was when my oldest was born. I had no desire to share all of the birthing stories, pictures, nightmares, questions...what-have-you. Hopefully, any friend I may have had who also gave birth but who relished in reliving the 3 to 83 hour labor drama with me, did not notice how much physical pain I was in listening. I have always been able to escape these re-living of memories. Sometimes not always tactfully or gracefully. This is partly why I've found my own blog a bit comforting. I may stop calling my two dearest friends, Angel and Marsha, to screech my latest crisis. I may, someday, be able to call just to ask about their day.
The latest mind-boggling episode occurred yesterday, Mother's Day 2008. I refuse to alter any names to protect the "innocent". If someone wants to nail me for libel, feel free to prove me wrong and yourself right.
James had suggested to Vanessa (the mother of the "little kids") that they may be able to spend the weekend with her. In light of Winter's recent lying about me and Trinity eagerly agreeing with the lie, James opted to keep them home. Vanessa did not seem disappointed but mentioned that if she could find the money, she would like to see them on Sunday. I'm not sure where one looks for money. But it apparently wasn't there. The kids never once asked to call her; didn't mention her at all. She called around 4 and left a pitiful message on the machine urging the kids to call her to make her feel better. Give me a living break. She has only to provide for herself. She pays no child support, reimburses no court ordered expenses, offers not one thin dime. She has one husband in her household and she can't find the money to see her kids on Mother's Day. James and I provide 100% for these kids and he still has to drive to Wichita daily. Maybe we should find the time to look for money.
This is her third consecutive Mother's Day that she has gone putting forth no effort and making no self sacrifice to see her kids. Two years ago, I offered to take the kids to her. All she had to do was call when she was ready. She never called.
I learned just this morning from James that yesterday was Baby James' birthday. James felt terrible for being so cranky all day and not knowing why. He felt even worse for forgetting this important day. It made perfect sense to both of us that his subconscious was kicking his ass. It also made perfect sense that Vanessa would want the kids to call to make her feel "better". It makes absolutely NO sense that Vanessa step up and spend a free day with the children she does have. No, it's the responsibility of the kids.
As a footnote: Baby James is James' son who died at the age of two. I can't talk about it - I don't think about it. It's the only pain that James feels that I am not ready to address. I may never be.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Cups
My lone reader suggested today that she visited my blog hoping that I had added something. I have not. Again - the process of transferring thought to fingertips is daunting and I'm having extreme difficulty working up the ambition. It just seems too "hard".
The CHL hockey season has drawn to a close. Finally. It was a climatic end, if you're an Arizona Sundog fan. Which I could be and certainly leaned that way after Tyler Leibel was traded for...um...who? Yeah. But, they knocked the Colorado Eagles out of their perch, which caused some conflict in my bedroom. My loving husband who, with all his strength, is a closeted Eagle fan. I'm pretty sure he owes me serious favors as "my" team won the cup! Not this cup:
But another cup.
Speaking of cups...Dallas is having their asses handed to them by Detroit. Am I surprised? Nope. Am I disappointed? Yep. Detroit is serious in their quest for this cup:
Veering from cups, but still with hockey. The Goalie Amp commercial provides me with 30 seconds of sheer child-like glee. Most other hockey commercial are so serious. They exhibit the dedication the boys have. jeez...throw in more "yo momma" lines!
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Who I met this week
I met Annie, and Wanda, and David.
Annie...
was a little woman I encountered pushing a cart of roses at Stutzman's (stutzmans.com). She had 3 to 5 roses along with some other flowering beauties. Annie stood about 4 feet tall and made me feel like Amazon woman. I loved that feeling and now know how my sisters feel standing next to me. I pushed her cart up the ramp and was surprised at how heavy it was. After checking her out (no, taking her money for the roses...I don't check out little old ladies), I helped her to her car. I asked who was in charge of the shovel once she got home. Her response: "Well, I guess I am. I'm the only one there." This really surprised me because she seemed so old (to be blunt). I then had to know; couldn't live without knowing. "Ma'am, I must be rude and ask: How old are you?" She looked (up) at me at grinned. "I'm 90 and a half. My birthday is July 25."
I learned she was born south of Oklahoma City, had 8 siblings, and her mother died at 107. She lives approximately 41 miles from Stutzman's and had driven herself there, perched on a pillow placed on her car seat!
She was a tough lil thing and I can only wish that I could keep up with her on a good day.
Wanda...
Is an Amish convert. She loves to cook and brings cookies into the greenhouse to share. Just because. I learned that Wanda was born to a "prostitute". Not sure if she was a bonafide working girl or a substance addicted woman who performed favors for fixes. I believe there is a difference. Wanda was removed from her mother and placed in a home. She was ultimately adopted by a family whose father was a writer and wrote about the Amish community. Wanda become enthralled with this life and now lives it completely. Bless her and the chance she was given.
David...
Is a good looking young man who came in buying veggie plants. I didn't have much time to visit with him but happened to get his number to call for eggs! He turned me on to a place where I can buy fresh milk for $2.00 a gallon. WOW! David is a young farmer with 9...NINE kids!! He didn't look old enough to secure a license to handle explosives.
And the unknown...
A young Amish mother was in with her 4 kids buying 2 packets of seeds. Her kids were so extremely well behaved and I complimented her on that. I was struck with how she spoke to them - as though everything they had to say was worth hearing. She treated them as young people. She thanked me for the compliment and noted it was a good reminder not to take their behavior for granted. I mentioned that I have three step kids and frequently forget the "patience" part of their childhood. Upon leaving she gave me a blessing that brings a little salt to the eyes. She said, "My you have a blessed evening with your family". Laying in bed that night it occurred to me that we had a very peaceful evening with the kids. Her blessing worked. I hope I see her again to thank her.
Annie...
was a little woman I encountered pushing a cart of roses at Stutzman's (stutzmans.com). She had 3 to 5 roses along with some other flowering beauties. Annie stood about 4 feet tall and made me feel like Amazon woman. I loved that feeling and now know how my sisters feel standing next to me. I pushed her cart up the ramp and was surprised at how heavy it was. After checking her out (no, taking her money for the roses...I don't check out little old ladies), I helped her to her car. I asked who was in charge of the shovel once she got home. Her response: "Well, I guess I am. I'm the only one there." This really surprised me because she seemed so old (to be blunt). I then had to know; couldn't live without knowing. "Ma'am, I must be rude and ask: How old are you?" She looked (up) at me at grinned. "I'm 90 and a half. My birthday is July 25."
I learned she was born south of Oklahoma City, had 8 siblings, and her mother died at 107. She lives approximately 41 miles from Stutzman's and had driven herself there, perched on a pillow placed on her car seat!
She was a tough lil thing and I can only wish that I could keep up with her on a good day.
Wanda...
Is an Amish convert. She loves to cook and brings cookies into the greenhouse to share. Just because. I learned that Wanda was born to a "prostitute". Not sure if she was a bonafide working girl or a substance addicted woman who performed favors for fixes. I believe there is a difference. Wanda was removed from her mother and placed in a home. She was ultimately adopted by a family whose father was a writer and wrote about the Amish community. Wanda become enthralled with this life and now lives it completely. Bless her and the chance she was given.
David...
Is a good looking young man who came in buying veggie plants. I didn't have much time to visit with him but happened to get his number to call for eggs! He turned me on to a place where I can buy fresh milk for $2.00 a gallon. WOW! David is a young farmer with 9...NINE kids!! He didn't look old enough to secure a license to handle explosives.
And the unknown...
A young Amish mother was in with her 4 kids buying 2 packets of seeds. Her kids were so extremely well behaved and I complimented her on that. I was struck with how she spoke to them - as though everything they had to say was worth hearing. She treated them as young people. She thanked me for the compliment and noted it was a good reminder not to take their behavior for granted. I mentioned that I have three step kids and frequently forget the "patience" part of their childhood. Upon leaving she gave me a blessing that brings a little salt to the eyes. She said, "My you have a blessed evening with your family". Laying in bed that night it occurred to me that we had a very peaceful evening with the kids. Her blessing worked. I hope I see her again to thank her.
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